- Have you ever felt like leadership has slowly pulled you away from you?
- Have you ever held space for everyone else while neglecting your own?
Whether you’re leading a team, or a business, even a classroom, or simply yourself through big life transitions — leadership today requires more than strategy and structure.
It asks something deeper of us.
Presence.
Clarity.
Vision.
And perhaps most of all — alignment.
But what happens when you’re giving so much of yourself to others… that you start to lose sight of who you are in the process?
That’s what we’re exploring today.
How to lead without losing yourself.
(And why your voice deserves to be included in the vision.)
Hidden Costs of Heart-Led Leadership
If you’re someone who leads from the heart — if you deeply care about your people, your mission, your work — then you’ve probably found yourself giving just a little too much, more often than you’d like to admit.
You want to show up.
Be available.
Create impact.
Be the one others can count on.
And while that’s beautiful, it can also become a subtle and very quiet form of self-abandonment.
For empaths and sensitive leaders — this is especially true.
Because your natural ability to feel into the room, to hold space, to “just know” what others need… becomes the exact thing that depletes you, if you’re not present. If you’re operating on autopilot.
(It’s a bit like watering every flower in the garden — except your own roots are starting to dry out.)
Signs You’re Losing Yourself in Leadership
You might notice it in small ways, like:
- Feeling emotionally foggy or energetically drained, even after doing work you love.
- Struggling to make decisions without checking how others might feel first.
- Losing touch with your own voice, desires, or even your personal rituals.
- Feeling resentful — not because you don’t care, but because you feel like you can’t not care
If any of this feels familiar — please know, you’re not alone. And this isn’t a failure of your leadership.
It’s a signal from your inner self… asking to be included in the conversation again.
Reclaiming Inner Authority
So what do we do when we realize we’ve been leading from a place of external responsibility, but not enough internal alignment?
We pause.
We listen.
We remember that we matter, too.
Leadership is not just about what you hold for others — it’s also about what you hold for yourself.
And that includes time to reflect.
Space to feel.
Permission to have needs.
Room to reset.
In my own leadership journey, one of the most transformative shifts has been the practice of regularly checking in — not just with what I’m doing, but why I’m doing it.
What’s driving the action?
Is it clarity — or fear?
Alignment — or approval?
Purpose — or proving?
Gentle Practice – Your Self-Check-In Moment
If you feel like you’re drifting away from yourself in your leadership, here’s a simple practice I use — and it only takes a minute:
Set a timer to go off once or twice a day.
When it does, pause and ask yourself:
- What am I doing right now?
- Whose energy am I holding — mine, or someone else’s?
- Is this action aligned with who I want to be as a leader?
There’s no right or wrong answer here.
The goal isn’t perfection — it’s presence.
This one tiny pause in your day can help you return to yourself, and lead from your inner wisdom, not just external demands.
So, my invitation to you this week is this:
Let your leadership include you.
Let your voice matter just as much as those you serve.
And remember — the most sustainable leadership is the kind that doesn’t leave you behind.
With my all,
Paula
xx