When the s**t hits the fan

Time to talk about the not so funny things happening along the way of making your dreams come true.

Yes, we all face them.
Even though we already talked about the mistakes to avoid.

When you start to dream and taking action on your dreams, it brings forth all the fears and doubts. The conflicting beliefs that you may have about your desires. And as those surface, it does not feel good.

But, it’s a natural part of the process.

This is what many mistakenly interpret to mean, that their dreams and desires are somehow wrong. Or that, when they think about taking desired action and it feels scary, or they doubt whether it will work out or not, it means that they are not supposed to go forward with their plans.

This point is usually when it feels like s**t is hitting the fan. People start to seriously doubt their desires. Too often trying to dodge those feelings by giving up rather than exploring what the doubts and fears are about.

Because, those fears, doubts and misbeliefs surfacing is not a bad thing at all! It happens for you. The error in your belief system is exposed and you actually have a chance to do something about it.

It, indeed, is a marvelous part of the process!
One you should celebrate!

Let me explain.

If the original desire feels good when you think about it, but when about to take action, you feel funny or a bit uncomfortable, it only means that you have some resistance in your system due to conflicting beliefs. And those surface as fears and doubts.

One way to explore them is to write down the thoughts that come up when thinking about taking action on your desire. Both, the ones that support you in your mission, and especially the ones that don’t. As you write your thoughts down, you clearly see which ones need a bit of questioning.

For example, one of my clients had a desire to grow her business and gain more customers so that her business would be more profitable. When we explored the desire she noticed that she is repeatedly doubting herself. She was saying things like “it’s hard work and is going to take too long” or “am I even good enough”.

Especially the latter was bothering her a lot. So I asked her if she is good enough. Her immediate response was “yes, I am”. But right after she said it out loud, she said she had a voice inside her questioning “are you really?”.

Have you ever experienced something similar?

If yes, pay attention to whose voice it really is that speaks that kind of doubting words. Is it really your own voice? Or perhaps your mom’s? Partner’s?

As my client noticed that it was not really her own voice, but that of someone else, it was much easier for her to take the desired action regardless of it. After all, it wasn’t her doubt at all. It was an imagined one, based on something that happened a long time ago.

The questioning of your fears and doubts can be just that simple. You write them down and read them and notice whether they are really yours or not. Or question whether it really is so. Does it have to be?

When asking yourself, for example, a question of “is it really so” or “does it have to be so” or “could something else be true”, you have opened a space in your mind to see things differently. Your old limiting belief has already changed and is not causing such strong resistance as before.

After two months of working together with my previously mentioned client, she had her business running well into the direction she wanted it to go. Her income had tripled and she had new exciting projects to run. A year later, her business had grown 5X and keeps on growing.

She credits the growth on being able to take desired actions and on knowing what to do if she ever feels stuck with her fears and doubts.

So, when the s**t hits the fan, or it looks and feels like it, it happens for you! There’s something for you to notice and to learn! And that’s worth the celebration!

While at it, if you long to feel better in the midst of facing those fears and doubts, try this.

Get a beautiful jar or a bowl that you love. Put it in a central place in your home, from where you can see it easily everyday.

Upon waking up each morning, or during the day when it suits you best, write a loving, kind and appreciating note on a piece of paper, and place it in the jar.

Repeat everyday.

This does not only provide you a boost of positivity and appreciation, and nourish your soul, when you read the notes in those ‘pick me up’ moments, but also soothes your mind as you write the notes. A win-win, really.

Much love,

Ps. if you try to run away from the fears and doubts, they only follow. As my favorite author says, face them fearlessly and you notice there’s nothing to face.

Pps. I’m cheering for you!!