Last week we talked about how there too often is so much going on in life that if you’re not aware, it’s easy to become obsessed with what’s not yet working out quite the way you’d like it to. This misplaced perception of the mind, that nothing’s working out, is a dangerous guiding principle.
Therefore, this time, you’ll learn a simple exercise to remind yourself of all the things that are already well and working out – both in life and leadership – so that you’ll have a more balanced approach to work on those areas that you’d like to change.
Without the need to launch into the misperceptions of the mind.
First, focus on your life as a whole.
When you want to shift your focus and filter in more information on what is already working out (not just what isn’t), it’s helpful if you’re considering all areas of your life or leadership, not just one.
This ensures a much wider and more balanced perspective on what’s really going on. You don’t ever need to define your life only based on something that’s not yet working out. Nor the opposite either.
And that’s why the exercise here is about taking a moment and making a complete evaluation of the different areas of your life. All of them.
By the way. There are many ways to define the areas of your life.
Some see the parts of their life to be home, work, relationship with self, and relationship with others.
Some see it as relationships only – with oneself, with others, and with the higher power.
Some divide their life into multiple areas such as family, friends, partner, health, career, money, learning, and environment.
Notice, that the environment here doesn’t only mean your physical environment (like your home, or the city, country, or continent you live in). It also refers to the mental and social environment; the kind of thoughts you repeatedly think and the kind of people you repeatedly surround yourself with.
So, the exercise is to
- take paper and pen
- write down the parts of your life
(whatever way you choose to do it) - take time to evaluate each part.
With my private coaching clients, we often start with this kind of evaluation, even though they come to coaching with a specific topic in their mind.
When you look at your life as a whole, the evaluation is more accurate, more truthful, than when you look at just one area of your life.
And as we all know, the only solid foundation to build upon is truth.
Just so you know, none of my clients have ever ranked all the areas of their lives to be ideal – although they’re very successful (measured by any measurements).
So when you do this, do realise that there always is something to work on, there’s always something we’d like to be somehow different.
Also, remember that the idea isn’t to compare your life with anyone else’s. Your life is your business, someone else’s life is their business. Stay out of the comparison trap.
This exercise is an excellent way of reminding yourself of the truth that some things are already working out for you. No matter how hard life might feel from time to time.
Thus your perspective automatically shifts on the areas you might want to change in order for them to work even better for you.
Suddenly life isn’t so awful after all.
This shift in perspective is life changing. And one that happens in an instant.
Did you experience it while looking your life as a whole?
What’s different now?
If you’d like to dive even deeper, take a new piece of paper and write down 3 wins from any area of your life.
Three things that you (not necessarily anyone else) consider somehow to be wins in your life.
This can, for example, be that you contacted your childhood friend after years of not being in touch. Or that you’ve made a new friend, with whom you love and adore each other. Or you finally cooked that meal you’ve so long thought of cooking. Or contacted that promoter you’ve wanted to contact, but didn’t dare before, wrote that blog post and shared it with the world. Or stood up for yourself in a difficult situation.
If it helps, put a time limit on it, so that you can write down 3 wins that you’ve experienced during the last week, last month, last year, or last decade.
This is such a good way to shift your focus, and it forces you to see the good in your life too. For there always is good in your life, too!
You can even go further with this one, and write down 3 wins from each area of your life and really immerse yourself in the goodness of your life for a change.
I do this regularly myself, too.
Then looking at what is not yet working out isn’t so stressful. I’m much more relaxed. And from this relaxed state of being it’s easy to approach those things and to see what it is that I could do with them, if I really wanted to.
And sometimes I do want to do something, but sometimes I don’t. Sometimes it’s not necessary at all. And that’s ok too.
As long as it’s your conscious decision, coming from worthiness and deservingness. Not fear.
With my all,
Paula
xx