Playing not to lose?

Feeling stressed? Tired? Exhausted? Struggling? Stuck? Lost?

First, I want to assure you that you’re not alone! Second, check in with yourself to notice the guiding principle according to which you’re operating. What motive is leading your actions?

We were talking about the importance of the mindset with many of my clients last week again. Whatever you’re doing, there’s a big difference in what mindset you are. Whether you’re playing not to lose or if you’re playing to win.

When playing not to lose, the focus is only on the outside (even though the transformation happens inside before it appears outside). As a consequence, it’s easy to become reactive, defensive and even attacking and destructive. When playing not to lose it’s more about stopping others doing what they’re doing (so that you get what you want) than you focusing on your own behaviors and actions (to make what you want happen).

When playing to win, it’s of course not about winning. It’s about the mindset you’re in. When you play to win, you’re awake and open to see and to act on the opportunities that exist around you. Your focus is on things you can control (your own behavior and actions) in order to make what you want happen. You’re keen to take worthy and constructive action and consider the good of all concerned. You believe in yourself and know that you’re supported.

Naturally, the win itself is nice, too. But can there really be a win if the journey to it was sh***y? The means to an end matter.

In this hectic time with all that’s going on, it’s too easy to end up playing not to lose instead of playing to win. If you wonder what the case is for you, just take a look at the results you’re getting. What are you creating?

Satisfied with the results? Cool! Keep on going! Not satisfied? Check the mindset and the motives and course correct. You’ve got this!

After our session one of my clients made a bold suggestion in a shareholder meeting, which led to an opportunity to grow the company 10x. Another cut loose of the imaginary chains holding him back on taking his business further faster. In either case, the point was not on seeking growth, it was in being able to operate in ways you’d want to operate by being the person you want to be.

The change in the outside is a result of the change on the inside.

Much love,