It’s not the things we want, it’s the emotions

As the holiday season is approaching, I’ve once again been thinking about how true it is that it’s not the things we want in the end. It’s the emotions. We only ever dream about, or want something, because we believe we feel better in the having of it.

(Side note: If only I could get my kids to understand this as their writing to Santa, ha!)

Often we dream and set goals with rationality and reason in mind. After all, that’s how the real world works! Or so we’ve been taught… But because of it, we might unknowingly set ourselves to a mischievous path of making our wellbeing dependent on the outcome and our achievements.

If we make our wellbeing dependent on the outcome, it usually plays out as

  • heavy emotional investment causing more stress than happiness
  • shrinking of our dreams and goals in fear of not being able to follow up with them
  • making it hard to even get started in the process, as the pressure seems too high and too overwhelming.

In that case, it’s the ‘seeing it all through’ part that scares many away. Because we may not have any guarantees of the outcome. Yet, if you keep with it, stay committed even in times of fear and doubt, in due time, you shall reap.

And how you can support yourself on the way, is by translating your dreams and goals and wants into feeling states.

As soon as you translate what you want in to feelings, you’re giving yourself a huge advantage in terms of receiving it. Whatever that ‘it’ is for you.

Feelings never just magically appear out of nowhere, they always are reactions and responses to what we think at that particular moment. If you match your actions so that they support the feelings you want to experience on daily basis, you’ve got the secret formula!

Now, do not let this be your excuse to think that you should avoid all those things that do not make you feel great. I’m sorry to disappoint you here, but that’s not the case.

Whenever we’re doing something new, we feel uncomfortable at first, but once we get a hang of it, it’s a completely different occasion and comes with feelings of satisfaction. As it goes with those unpleasant routine chores, too. So be prepared to toughen up, just enough, to tolerate those not so good feelings when starting something new, or getting those chores done, and you’ll be amazed at how things will turn out.

Ok, back to the secret formula! Before going about the commencing week, ask yourself these questions:

  • What do I want for my life this week? (aka the dream and/or goal)
  • How do I want to feel in my life this week? (aka translation in to feelings)
  • What action do I need to take in order to make these happen?
  • How do I begin and by when?

Take a moment and write down your answers.

If you want to dive deeper with your dreams and goals, and clarify what really matters to you in wider perspective, just rephrase the questions to suit your purposes. For example:

  • What do I desire for my life in 2022?
  • How do I desire to feel in my life in 2022? 
  • What kind of actions do I need to take in order for my desires and feelings states to take place?
  • How do I begin and by when?

If you want to dive even deeper, book your Full Clarity session with me and let’s get you going. For payment plans, drop us an email. 

Enjoy experimenting!

Much love,

Ps. Even though the upcoming holiday season is about being merry, it appears to many as the most stressful time of the year. With stress, the trick is not to avoid it, but to learn to ease it regularly. Preferably daily.

I’ve worked for a long time on easing my stress on daily basis, thus preventing it from accumulating. It’s part of my morning routines. Yet, I want to expand it and include more of it in my days. I truly believe we all would benefit from including more stress relieving acts on our days!

That’s why I’ll be attending a stress relieving workshop in January 2022, to ensure I’ll get a good start with my new habit and to get professional help and tools to my journey. (For my Finnish friends, you can check it out here – if it resonates, do join me!)

What small act of self-care helps your stress ease up? How can you make it a daily habit of yours?