A lie that too often lurks behind the seemingly obvious matters that make people feel uncertain, unconfident or uncomfortable in their lives and leadership is…
The belief in not being enough.
But you know what?
It’s a lie.
How do I know that?
Because the truth never hurts like a lie does. And how does even the thought of you not being enough make you feel?
As I said.
The truth never hurts like a lie does.
The truth is you are enough!
More than enough.
But sometimes even the truth feels uncomfortable at first.
So, say to yourself – I am enough.
Couple of times, out loud, if possible.
I am enough.
I am enough.
Be with that for a while.
What comes up for you?
Remember, it’s never about judging what comes up. It’s about noticing what comes up. When you become aware of it, then there’s a possibility to do something about it, if you choose to.
Now, here’s what might happen.
You notice doubts or fears coming up. Questioning whether it can be true. Followed by a thought that those doubts and fears are a clear sign you’re not enough.
But in reality they’re signs that you’ve convinced yourself otherwise, somewhere along the way.
And now that you say out loud the truth, your mind of course questions it, because what you’re now saying is not in line with what you’ve been repeatedly telling yourself in the past.
So, instead of taking the possible doubts or fears that might surface as the truths, take them as opinions and write them down, so you can clearly see them.
It’s always better to get them out of your system than keeping them in. And writing them down is doing just that.
Now that you’ve gotten them out, read them. Read what you’ve written. And notice how it feels.
This is important, because in that way you’re already automatically questioning those statements.
For example, after unintentionally coming across a job advertisement, my client got an intuition to apply. So she followed it.
But right after applying, she started to doubt whether it would be a good thing to make that kind of bold move in her life, as it would affect so many other areas in her life, too, not just career.
When she came to our next session and told me about this, we first focused on identifying and writing down those doubts and fears that surfaced when she thought about accepting the new job. (Yes, at that point the place was hers, if she’d accept it!)
Numerous issues came up and when we looked at what was behind those doubts and fears, she had this feeling of not enoughness – not being smart enough, good enough, experienced enough.
I remember how saying those things out loud made her cry and she said it felt awful, like a forest fire raging inside, burning her to ashes.
I remained silent, letting her release the strong emotions, and after a while asked her how it feels now when she says to herself that she is not enough.
She was quiet for a while before saying that it feels like a lie – the truth is that she is enough. I then asked how that felt. It felt calm. Very neutral. Almost like nothing at all.
The truth never hurts like a lie does.
It doesn’t feel awful, but it doesn’t feel particularly awesome either. It just is.
Sometimes we need to surrender to the lie, to our doubts and fears, to not keep running away from them, even though facing them feels immensely uncomfortable.
For that may be the only way to set the truth free.
With my all,
Paula
xx