I’m often asked about how to achieve a confident mindset. Usually this question comes with an assumption that once confidence is achieved, it’s ours to keep. Which is not true.
Confidence is not an event. It’s not something that happens once and then we magically get to be confident eternally.
Confidence is a system. Just like success. A systematic way of showing up. In your life and for your life. Every single moment of every single day.
Don’t take this as a pressure that you have to nail down confidence and hone it to the perfection every single moment of every single day. Rather, see it as an opportunity. As a choice, really.
And notice that, if you don’t show up confidently today, or in this moment, you’re not doomed to be unconfident for the rest of your life. Already the next moment offers you an opportunity to change that. Not to mention the next day.
Confidence, as everything else, too, is the inner work we need to do with ourselves. In the process of developing a systematic way of showing up, the following steps laid the groundbreaking foundation for confidence in my life:
- Getting to know how our mind works and understanding how our thoughts are just thoughts and thus, not necessarily true
- Becoming aware of how I language and label everything that happens and how those affect the results I’m getting
- Paying attention to what I focus on and filtering in also the good, not just the bad
- Practicing curiosity and willingness to learn on every step of the way rather than searching for courage
- Staying out of the comparison trap.
I also had to do a whole lotta inner work on self-love and self-acceptance in order to recognize that I’m enough and worthy, just like everyone else.
I regularly revisit these steps and they’ve led me to live a life of higher quality, and higher standards. I still don’t get it right all the time, but I’m more than willing to learn. Every step of the way.
And it helps to remember that this is a system, not an event.