I first came across the name Thrives on Neglect on a picture my friend posted on her twitter account about a houseplant. This happened some years ago.
I remember commenting on it, saying that I have one of those in my living room, meaning the plant itself. She asked if I meant my husband and as I was laughing out loud I suddenly realized that it’s actually me,
I’m thriving on neglect!
While the actual plant literally thrives when neglected, I thrive on conscious neglect of the need to please and to withdraw!
From early on I was conditioned to seek outside validation almost for everything that I was doing. I was more concerned about pleasing others than pleasing myself. And if I didn’t succeed in that, it meant that I massively withdrew myself to make sure I’m not annoying or getting on anyone’s nerves. To feel safe again. This led to a life that was in many ways harmful for my self-esteem, but often beneficiary to others. Even though, for outsiders, it looked like all was well and I was doing great.
I don’t know if you’re familiar with the disease to please and the survival strategy of freeze, but those are something I’ve battled with most of my life. They’ve been part of my life and who I am for as far as I can remember. I still daily practice speaking my truth without sugarcoating it to please someone else. I still need to reaffirm myself that all is good, when I do not get the public approval or when the fear of not being liked or accepted kicks in.
There was even a time I dreaded sending an offer in fear of it being turned down so much that I rather did not do it at all. You can imagine how frustrating that was for an entrepreneur.
From that moment the phrase has stayed with me.
Now, Thrives on Neglect is a place where I share insights, inspiration and lessons learned on thriving as an entrepreneur, and in life in general, regardless of the tendencies to fawn and to freeze.
And I am thrilled to welcome you on this journey! This is the beginning of the Thrives on Neglect story. Let’s do this together!