Few weeks ago I was so excited about the pattern interrupt I experienced in my daily life and enjoying the boost of energy that it came with. Well, last week I was face to face with the downside of pattern interrupts and it got me thinking about the default settings we all have with our mindset and attitude towards life.
It’s easy to remain in fearless faith, nonresistance and love when all is good and going smoothly. Yet, it requires effort when life throws sudden curve balls at us. But in those moments we get to see the true conditioning that is running our life. And we get an opportunity to work on our conditioning, if we choose to.
What is your default mindset when something unexpectedly unpleasant happens?
For years it was this bitch-mode for me. Under stress I became snappy and hurtful. As the saying goes, hurt people hurt people. Even though I’d so love to deny it, that was me. And I remember when I became aware of my own habit and behavior (in those stressful situations), and how it first made me want to hurt some more people…
However, relying on this other blame didn’t quite work. Nor did relying on self blame either. Well, any blame game doesn’t really work. Not for the benefit of greatest good of all concerned.
One of my favorite things in reprogramming the default mindset has been to change the narrative. At all times we’re telling ourselves stories about what is happening currently, what has happened in the past and what is going to happen in the future.
By changing the stories we tell ourselves, we change the way we react to and interpret the situations we’re facing.
At it’s easiest, it can look something like below.
Instead of saying to yourself that
- I am not good at it
- I can’t do it
- This is too hard
- I don’t know how
- I give up
- There’s no point in even trying
- Who am I to do that
- This is just so frustrating
try saying something like
- I’m sure I’ll do better with practice
- I want to try
- This is all new to me
- I don’t know how yet
- It’s ok to fail
- It can be possible only if I try
- I believe in myself
- I can learn from my mistakes
These, of course, are just a few examples, and I’m sure you can relate to this in your own life and with your own experiences.
The challenge now is, if you choose to accept it, to listen to your inner conversations with yourself and change the narrative with simply changing few words or ways of expressing, so that it better serves the ultimate purpose.