What are we talking about – the wanted or the unwanted?

I got a powerful reminder this week about the importance of focus. Something we all ought to remember. What we focus on, grows.

Life’s fare that way, for all of us. Our mind draws our attention to the things we repeatedly think of. Without a fail.

Our mind does not care whether what we focus on is labelled good or bad. It just brings more of the same for us to notice.

For example, when you’re thinking about buying a car and you’ve decided the brand and the model, perhaps even the color, you suddenly start to notice the exact cars whenever you’re driving down the highway.

Well, this week it wasn’t about a car. It was about my first The Happiness Practice(TM) cohort to a group of leaders in the States. And I was feeling a bit nervous about it.

The more I practiced, the more nervous I became. Not exactly an ideal situation for running your first training session with a new group of people, ha!

Until I became aware of that I was seeing myself nervous when imagining the first training session. An old fear of being visible was obviously been triggered. And going unnoticed, consuming my energy.

It took few breathing exercises and some gentle self talk to change the direction of my focus.

Every time we’re talking about what we want in our lives, there’s actually two subjects on the table. The wanted and the unwanted. Be mindful on which one you focus.

Every time you’re talking (or thinking) about something you want, you’re automatically thinking about what you don’t want, too. Otherwise you couldn’t identify the other. The trick here is that which ever gets most of your attention, expands.

And notice, that sometimes it may seem like we’re talking about what we want, yet still in our mind’s eye see the opposite – the unwanted. 

I call this phenomenon the wolf in sheep’s clothing. The all too familiar acquaintance. The one that directs our attention to all wrong places.

Yet, when we become aware of this, we’re able to do something about it.

So, how did the cohort go in the end? It went well. Yet, it was the first time, so obviously there’s room to grow on this six-month journey I’m on with this wonderful group of leaders. 

Much love,