Less shoulding, more being!

So, honestly, this has been a week of adversities. Phew. One of those, when your way of being vs. doing is put to test.

As it’s often with adversities, how (and who) you choose to be in those moments is the basis for everything else. 

If the automatic response systems kick in, the learned behaviors, doing on autopilot is usually the one taking the drivers seat.

When feeling stuck, that’s actually not bad at all. Doing gets you going. But when facing adversity, I’d personally prefer my actions to be more intentional, more purposeful. To come from a place of being.

You know. Being calm. Being clear. Being intentional.

Not just do things just for the sake of doing, without thinking about where they may lead.

That’s why I want to challenge you to think of the being during the coming week.

Who are you, and how are you, when taking action and doing?

The world is full of all kinds of hacks and tricks we should do daily in order to feel better or do better. They’re all meant to help us, of course. But sometimes they just end up increasing the stress levels with the even longer list of things we ‘should’ be doing.

If you’re like me and have a list of things you ‘should’ do, but don’t seem to get them done, try this exercise from my first book.

  1. Get pen and paper and write down all the things you should do. Insert a heading of ‘I should’ on top of the list. Read through the list, starting each point with ‘I should’ and then adding the thing you should do from the list. 

    Pause here until you’ve done the above.

  2. Then get another paper and write the exact same things on that list, except with heading ‘I could’. After you’ve done this, again, read through the list, starting each point with saying I could and then adding the things from the list one by one. Notice what’s different compared to the first list.

    Pause here until you’ve done the above.

  3. Yes, you’ve guessed right. One more paper and one more list. This time the heading is: ‘If I’d like to, I could’. Add all the things and read through it.

    Which items actually stay in the list? Which ones go away? Which new ones come in?

I do this each time my to do list gets too long and overwhelming and every time it helps me get more calm and clear, making it easy to take the next steps forward.

Which brings me to a question of why don’t we cultivate a way of being instead of just doing yet another thing?

For sure, it requires doing, too. And a lot of practice. Yet, I’m sure you notice a difference in the doing, when you start it from the level of being, for example

  • calm
  • mindful
  • nonresistant
  • certain
  • optimistic
  • open minded
  • in fearless faith.

Don’t you?

Much love,