I’m often asked about what is the most important thing in living a dream life. It’s how we talk to ourselves. How we language what we want, and how does that make us feel.
Because how we language, well, anything to ourselves, always reveals if we have inner conflicts about the subject. In other words, if there’s inner work we need to do with ourselves.
In case of dreams and goals, for example, inner conflicts mean we hold opposite beliefs that conflict with what we say we want. And such conflicts are going to be deal breakers. Every time. They stop us from getting what we want. And, we make it worse by the words we use.
The trickiest part is, most know nothing about this, and end up harming themselves unnecessarily. Without even realizing it. That’s why I pay close attention to how my clients language their lives, what words do they use.
For example, there’s nothing more powerful in bringing out the errors of the mind, than stating what you want in writing and seeing it. That is a sure way to get the beliefs, both good and bad, to surface.
If these beliefs make you feel uncomfortable, then this is usually the moment when it’s easy start to doubt and become fearful of not getting what you want. Which often leads to the urge of making your dreams and goals smaller.
It’s a vicious cycle, always leading to disappointments.
But this is not the time to give up!
Solution is much easier and much closer than you think!
When you write down what you want, your mind starts to come up with stories that are either for, or against, what you want.
Your job at this moment, is not to argue against any of those stories. Your job is to write down those stories, so that you can take a good look at them.
Often times, it’s more than just one story. Usually it is an army of stories. So be patient when writing those thoughts down.
Because it’s these thoughts that reveal, what to do next.
For instance, if we were to be in emotional downward spiral, we speak less nicely to ourselves. Especially about what we should or should not be doing. If that’s the case, and there’s too much shoulding going on in your life, then stop, take a breath and say this: If I really wanted to, I could…
And then, let the sentence be finished with whatever first comes into your mind. If it’s actionable right away, get to it. If not, check how much of it is available, and get to that.
When you language what you want, in ways that are in alignment with your inner beliefs, that’s also when things go much smoother. I won’t say it’ll be always easy. I do say, it’ll be more simple.
There’s always a way to language what you want, or your fears and doubts, in a way that makes you feel ok with them. When you feel ok, you won’t be resisting.
I practice this in my own life every day, too. You can regularly hear me correcting what I’m saying and how I’m saying it, so that my words are more intentional, suitable and purposeful.
That’s how you become one with what you want.
And that’s a powerful state to be in.
I highly recommend you try it, too!