How you see yourself affects everything you do, including the results you’re getting in life.
Before we can have something, we must do something. Yet, before we can do something, we must be something. It all starts with being.
Often our self image is a combination of the blueprints we’ve gathered along during the course of our lives – some of them we chose consciously and some of them not.
The best part is, that we are able to alter our self image and to course correct it in order for it to serve the best interest of both yourself and those around you.
What and who you choose to be is your decision. You get to choose your self image.
How, then, do we choose our self image?
My own coach taught me that it starts with making a list of beliefs and fears that are holding us back.
Whenever we’re not doing what we’d really like to do, it’s because the beliefs and fears have surfaced from the depths of our mind and we let them stop us.
When you notice a situation like that, write down the beliefs and fears, the stories you tell yourself that hold you back. These are the ones stopping you from saying YES to your opportunities.
After you’ve made your list, flip those beliefs and fears around and write the new versions down for yourself, too.
- I am not good enough -> I am enough
- I am too sensitive -> I am worthy
- I don’t have what it takes -> I can give it a go
- I don’t have the right to succeed -> I was born for this
Every I am sentence matters. You create your reality with them. And that’s how we get to choose who we are.
When you speak more truth to and accept who you are, there’s nothing to worry.
In the end, we have what we
- believe we deserve,
- expect to happen and
- allow in.
We cannot have something before we believe we can have it. The fears and misbeliefs that stop us are a mix of hand-me-downs from our parents and people around us, something that we’ve witnessed happen. Or they are widely held social or cultural beliefs, that we never questioned. Or experiences that went wrong in our own lives.
The previously mentioned exercise helps you flip those fears and beliefs around. But as with brushing your teeth, they’re not clean for the rest of your life after one brush. You need to consistently attend to them as daily practice. The same goes for the new beliefs. As you’ve flipped your fears around, make an affirmation of the new beliefs to remind yourself daily of them.
This exercise of changing your self image is one of the most powerful tools in creating the kind of life you’d love to live. And it brings with it new expectations – expectations of something good happening. Expectations of getting through the tough times, too.
However, too often we work only on these, only on believing and expecting, and leave the allowing part completely out. And if we don’t allow good things into our lives, the ones we’ve asked for, it always comes down to the issue of self-worth.
This shows up by not accepting the opportunities that come in our way. The work then is to reconnect with your inner confidence and say YES to life’s calling.
And remember, who you are, and become in the process, is always far more valuable than what you get.