Don’t create problems where there are none

I am here with my mouth open in wonder and amazement – this is how I view life most of the time!

It’s also how I often view all the cool new ideas and realizations that I receive (either through other people or universe).

A little side note here! Sometimes the wonder and amazement of life or of an idea is mixed with feelings of smallness or inadequacy in front of such big and meaningful things.

If that’s the case, I ease it up by zooming my attention from the big picture into one small detail that I can start to work on. If you only look at the big picture, it might be hard to see what the first step could be. That’s usually when you feel overwhelmed by only thinking about what you need to be doing.

But when you zoom in just enough to see some of the details, it’s much easier to see from where to start. And truthfully, it doesn’t matter where you start, just as long as you start. When you step into taking action, then that action is going to take you further and helps you clarify the next needed steps.

When concentrating on one step at a time, even the biggest things are manageable. Over time then, small things add up to big impact.

Do go back to the big picture often enough, though, so that you stay connected to your ultimate goal. And remember to celebrate life at large at every opportunity.

This time, however, I’m in awe of how simple realizations can literally change the whole world!

Let me tell you what happened. First, I was on the phone with a dear friend of mine, telling her about a situation that was somewhat bothering me and how I did not know how to resolve it. As she pointed out that it all was already resolved (as it actually was), I felt this huge wave of relief pour over me. There was no more a problem to be solved.

To fill you in with just enough details so you can understand, I’m someone who recovers from the disease to please. Meaning, that sometimes I bend over backwards to get other people the results they want, even though it means doing a massive disservice for myself. In that situation I hadn’t been able to do that; I wasn’t sure if the other person was pleased with my best effort.

My friend’s comment made me realize how I (not happy to admit) once again had tried to take unhealthy responsibility of someone else’s life.

And if you’re anything like me, you know how taking unhealthy responsibility on someone else’s life is a sure way to downward spiral your confidence levels!

As my friend pointed out how it was not my responsibility to make the ride smooth for the other person, I really got it and oh my, was that a relief. My whole world changed in that moment and I was able to move on to other things with a feeling of relief and freedom.

And I did not end up creating problems where there are none.

If I would have tried to keep bending over backwards to please the other person (that I mentioned above), I would have been doing that from the viewpoint of trying to solve a problem that didn’t even exist.

That person did not expect me to solve the problems in her life. And even if she would have, it would not have changed the fact that I am unable to solve the problems in her life. The only one who can solve problems in your life is you.

What I want to point out to you in this one, is that you surely can see how me thinking, that she thought, that I had to solve her problems, was the only potential problem in the whole story.

Me trying to please her, based on what I thought she thought I should do.

Sounds crazy, right?

So, before you start to solve any problems in your life, and especially in someone else’s life, check in with yourself (or with your trusted friend or a coach) to see, if that really even is a problem.

Sometimes we end up creating problems by trying to solve problems that do not even exist.

Much love,