This might be a bit of an overstate, but roughly for the first thirty years of my life I thought that I didn’t have much say in my own life. The power of influence was outside of me.

I was just going with the flow.

Which back then meant that I was focusing on pleasing and appeasing everyone and everything around me.

Then, as my oldest was born, it started to change. Suddenly I was aware of the power I had to influence my own life.

I started seeing the opportunities and possibilities to make changes in myself so that my life would change.

After what I call a bit of a bumpy start, it was intoxicating. I fell in love with my own power.

And as part of that process, I needed to relearn to set boundaries.

But back then I thought boundaries were something I set to protect myself. Something I needed to enforce in order for me to be and stay safe.

Which, now that I’m looking back, might be at the root of why setting boundaries felt so uncomfortable and awkward for so long.

Even though I was consistently practicing it.

But then.

Over the past three years there’s been a new flavour to setting boundaries. Honestly, right now, I’m not sure there’s ever a need for setting a boundary.

Boundaries aren’t there to protect us.
They’re not there to keep us safe.
Or to set limits of any kind.

Limits only isolate us.
From each other and from life.
And isolation hurts.

Yet, isn’t the purpose of boundaries not to be hurting?

This is what I’ve been pondering upon the past years, and there’s been a shift, a transformation, a metamorphosis, taking place within.

It’s not about the personal power anymore.

It’s about working in alignment with the higher power. With the mystery within us all.

The more I’ve surrendered to the real flow of life, which is very different from the flow of mind, or flowing with what everyone else wants or needs, the more there is this unexplainable wisdom surfacing from within.

I know it’s not me, from me.
It’s part of us. Of us all.

And with this wisdom, that usually is very quiet compared to the mind, and very persistent and consistent, life has become more whole.

Following that wisdom I’ve been able to

• understand more freely
• see more freely and
• speak more freely.

Without the limitations of the mind that want to protect us from getting hurt.

Which brings me to my recent epiphany on boundaries. It came to me in a form of question.

Is there ever a need for boundaries, if you always speak your truth?

Now, the most influential part of this was the realisation of truth coming from being, feeling, acting, loving, speaking, seeing, and understanding your own worth and deservingness in every situation.

This got me thinking, that…

If you would – in every situation – interact from the absolute knowing of your own worthiness and deservingness, would there ever be a need for setting boundaries?

What do you think?

This is what I’m currently exploring in my own life and leadership. So far, experiences have been encouraging.

Like one, about two months ago, when I was in a situation where I needed to decline a favour my client was asking from me.

For a while, thinking about declining felt awkward.

But then I realised it was my mind trying to keep me safe. Safe in a way that I wouldn’t lose a client and get hurt in that way.

But is that kind of protection truly in alignment with your own worth and deservingness?

For me it wasn’t.

I don’t want to work with clients with whom there’s no mutual respect in a way where one’s no can’t be a no or yes a yes. In my experience, this kind of relationship is the most hurtful there can be. Much more hurtful than losing a client.

So, I spoke my truth feely and declined.

And I didn’t lose a client.

With that speaking of my truth, which came from the absolute knowing of my worth and deservingness (and was communicated directly in a forwarding manner), I set a clear boundary.

Without it actually being a boundary.

And without it feeling uncomfortable or awkward in any way.

So yet again, I’m faced with this question of whether there ever is a need for, so to say, setting a boundary.

Or whether it’s always about your relationship with yourself.

With your own worth, with your own deservingness, and your own values. And staying true to them.

Not for protection, but for alignment.


With my all,
Paula
xx